


Can I Be Him?

by paula_fnds



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26343268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paula_fnds/pseuds/paula_fnds
Summary: Jamie Fraser thought it was impossible to be happy again...until he walked into a small pub on a Saturday night and saw her sing. Everyone thought he was crazy, but he couldn't help it, Claire Beauchamp charmed him with her voice and beauty.Follow this little story developed through the song "Can I Be Him" by James Arthur.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Frank Randall, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 362
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1: You Walked Into The Room

**Author's Note:**

> I came back with one more fic for you. This time I was inspired by a song that when I first listened to it I already knew would make a good story! I hope you like it and enjoy it! Although there aren't many chapters, I wrote it with a lot of love and dedication. ❤❤❤❤

I opened my eyes to the persistent sound of my cell phone vibrating on the table. I tried to ignore it, but the noise wouldn't let me go back to the good sleep I had been in before. Who was I kidding? I wasn't having a good sleep; I couldn't sleep well for two months and all because of **her**! How could I have been so stupid? But now was not the time to go back to what happened, I needed to make this damn cell phone stop vibrating! I looked at the display, my eyes still burning with the brightness soon spotted the number more than well-known. No, I'm not answering you Ian, for the twentieth time this week.

But he seemed to ignore my orders and kept insisting, now by messages. Ok, I'll read just to know what I don't want to answer. _"We're going to the Irish Pub, the one that opened near your house, to celebrate Jenny's pregnancy!"_ Celebrate the pregnancy? As if it was something new, it was already their third child! And why did they choose an Irish Pub? This is more than a betrayal of the family business. But why was I worried about it? I wouldn't go anyway; I didn't want to see my sister looking guilty and avoiding at any cost to speak her name. Jenny felt guilty, it was her who insisted for me to call her out, she insisted that it would be good for me a relationship, but I knew that nothing was her fault, nor Ian's, nor anyone else's...except mine, I was foolish to fall in love and throw myself head over heels thinking that she was the woman of my life. I didn't blame my family, but I wasn't prepared to face them, I wasn't prepared to face anyone other than my work, and this one I was still doing very badly directly from my house.

I ignored Ian's messages with the details of the night and turned on the TV. A rugby game was going on, ok, it wasn't my favorite thing at the time, but nothing else was. I was happy to hear the sounds of the players giving, literally, the blood in the game while laying under the covers again and trying to sleep. Probably a few hours passed, because when I opened my eyes my house was dark again, had I really slept all day? The answer came from my stomach snore. One thing I had to be happy about, with all that had happened in my life, the only thing I hadn't lost was my appetite! I got up from bed stretching and went to the kitchen.

While looking at my refrigerator practically empty and deciding whether to choose a pizza from the previous day or the Chinese food from the beginning of the week, the bell rang. No, this can't be happening! I closed the refrigerator door with force because I already knew who it was, the only people who could get into my building without telling the doorman, the people who owned my apartment. I opened the door and found Jenny and Ian smiling:

\- What are you doing here? - I asked harshly. I knew I was being rude, but courtesy was the last thing on my mind at that moment.

\- You didn't answer your phone and didn't reply the messages, we decided to see if something had happened! - Ian answered while looking at Jenny, as if he wanted to show me that it was not his idea.

\- I haven't answered or replied to you for weeks, why would anything be wrong only now? And you know what happened!

\- We know, my dear brother, but it's been more than two months! I respected your mourning phase, but now it's enough! You need to get out of this house for a while, breathe, see people! And spend some time with those who really care about you! - Jenny started her speech in a brave way, as she always did when she wanted to give me a hard time for some bullshit I had done, but it ended in an almost begging way.

I took a deep breath. I didn't like to see my sister like this, I knew I wasn't being fair to them, they just wanted my welfare and I was being totally rude to those who didn't deserve it. And I knew that if I was stubborn, Jenny could be more, I wouldn't get rid of them and if I didn't go to the pub with them, I would spend the whole night with unhappy companies in my house.

\- Okay. I'll go with you, but I don't promise to stay long. I'll get ready.

I tried to give a half smile when I saw the happiness on my sister's face, but I couldn't. Instead I just looked at Ian and nodded when he did the same. I took a shower and put on the first clothes I saw, gee, it had been a long time since I wore a pair of jeans or at least fixed my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror and I almost looked normal, I still had deep dark circles under my eyes from bad sleeping nights, but who would care about them? I would stay only a few hours with them and would come home.

\- Our father would be very angry to know that you are celebrating your pregnancy in a pub and even more an Irish one! - I spoke to Jenny while we entered the bar.

\- He wouldn't be, because we are great with sales and we just closed a deal with this place! - she answered me satisfied.

\- They bought our whisky? This bar looks worse than I thought, what Irish Pub sells Scotch whisky? And the best and most traditional of the Highlands?

\- That's why we are better than them! - Ian laughed. I couldn't contain the smile that formed on the corner of my mouth.

We sat at a table near the stage. I didn't like it, usually bad bands or singers livened up Saturday nights and I couldn't talk to who was at the table, but deep down I thought it would be better not to be able to talk much, I wanted to avoid questions about my life and I knew that Jenny would do exactly that. Ian soon arrived with our beverages, we would both stick to the whisky while Jenny was content with a non-alcoholic drink. We toasted to my third nephew, or niece, they still didn't know the sex of the baby and probably wouldn't know until birth, Ian and Jenny liked the mystery, they even made bets in the family to see who got the sex right, I always did, but that night I wasn't excited to try a guess.

I knew Ian and Jenny wanted to talk to me, they wanted to know if I was better, they wanted me to be the same old Jamie, who liked to talk, tell stories and laugh. But I was far from that and didn't want to be pressured, so I kept my eye on the whisky glass on the table most of the time. But I knew Jenny wouldn't leave me alone for long, and I was right about that, she pulled the glass out of my hand, she wanted me to look at her, but at the same time the lights went out and the stage in front of us lit up.

My attention turned to what was going to happen, I wasn't interested in the musical attraction of the night, but I wanted to look away from Jenny. I just didn't expect what was coming, I really didn't! The first thing I saw was the hair, it looked brown, but under the stage light some locks turned red. And the curls? There were so many of them, and they were all moving as she walked to the center of the stage. When she sat on the bench and took her guitar, my heart stopped for a second, what were those eyes? They glowed intensely under the light and I couldn't help comparing their color with the drink in my hand, they were exactly the same. If this was enough to make me totally disconcerted, she started singing and then it seemed that everything around me remained silent and only her voice existed. I felt a chill all over my body and for the first time in months my heart beat again.

**You walked into the room**

**And now my heart has been stolen**

**You took me back in time to when I was unbroken**

**Now you're all I want**

**And I knew it from the very first moment**

**Cause a light came on when I heard that song**

**And I want you to sing it again**


	2. Chapter 2: Like It Was a Private Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! ❤❤❤ New chapters every Monday and Wednesday!

The minutes passed and soon became hours, but I couldn't get out of my chair, I couldn't stop listening to her, I couldn't stop seeing her. Between one song and another she talked to the few people who were paying attention in the show, I was one of them, but I couldn't utter a single word. Her smile at each applause received lit up the whole stage, the way she moved her body according to the rhythm of the song she was singing, the words that came out of her mouth, all this made me look like I was in a dream, in a private show where I would have her all to myself.

But unfortunately, this was not the reality. When the lights came on, I was getting suspicious looks from Jenny and Ian. I wonder if they had talked to me. Or did they not like the show as I did? I didn't care, I was still searching with my eyes where that singer had gone:

\- I think someone was enchanted by Claire's voice! - Jenny spoke still staring at me with a silly smile on her face.

Claire? So that was her name. Sorcha. Light, yes, that's what she had brought me in just a few minutes. She managed to do what I hadn't managed to do it alone, she brought me to life again. But now what?

**I swear that every word you sing**

**You wrote them for me**

**Like it was a private show**

**But I know you never saw me**

**When the lights come on and I'm on my own**

**Will you be there to sing it again?**

**Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?**

\- Jamie? - Ian was standing in front of me, I think I had lost myself again in thoughts.

\- If I had known you would be so interested in her music, I would have brought you before.

\- Does she always come here? - I asked so quickly and with a high voice that Jenny was amazed.

\- Yes, brother, she comes every weekend, as we were doing business with the owner of Pub, we ended up seeing her show several times. - Jenny answered with a satisfied smile on her face, she knew she had provoked something in me and I hated how she read me so well. - It seems that she is known by the owner and he lets her play here all the time.

\- Um... - was the only thing I could say.

\- I think we need a refill, now it's your turn! - Ian spoke while passing me his empty glass.

Yeah, I think another shot of whisky would be welcome, I needed something strong to try to get out of this trance, how simple sung words could have such an effect on me? I got up and went to the bar. More than quickly I asked for two more shots of our whisky and I waited. I looked to the sides and noticed that there were not many people, really this place did not interest me, well, at least not for their service. When finally my order was coming, I felt someone leaning over the counter next to me and listening to the voice, I didn't need to look to know who it was:

\- I came to get my payment! What is your most expensive whisky? - she spoke with the same voice that had driven me crazy.

\- We received this new brand now, they say it is the best in the region! - The same guy who was coming with my glasses full responded to her, pointing exactly to our whisky.

\- The best and most traditional, that if you like the real Scotch whisky. - The words came out of my mouth without me realizing it. What had I done? I was looking like a liquor seller, which I really was, but she didn't need to hear that now.

\- Um...and by the way you look like a real Scot too, I'll take your word for it! Jared, get a shot of this new brand! - she said it with a smile.

I was standing without knowing what to do, the two glasses were in my hand, but I didn't feel like going back to the table, to the company of my sister and my brother-in-law, except I had no reason to stay there, I mean, reason I had, I just lacked courage. But before I could think of anything to talk about, Claire was with her glass in her hand:

\- I hope you're right, I won't like to spend my voice in exchange for a bad whisky! - She spoke looking at me and without giving me a chance to answer, she downed the glass of the drink that was in her hand. Yes, she really seemed to understand what she was doing.

\- Was I right? - I asked with a low and husky voice, but what was happening to me? I sounded like a teenager who had never talked to a girl before!

\- Yeah, I think so! - She laughed when she saw me nervous, little did she know that I wasn't like that because of her answer. - One thing I can say is that Scottish people know how to make whisky as well as English people know how to make tea!

And that's when I noticed her accent, clearly she was English. Sassenach. She kept surprising me.

\- I heard that this brand has a special family recipe for many years, although small, I think they are the best, a pity that not everybody recognizes the quality of a good whisky. - And the words kept coming out of my mouth in the form of a cheap commercial of my own brand.

\- And by the way you look like a great appreciator of the drink! - she spoke, now sitting on the bench next to me on the counter. Without thinking twice, I put the two glasses on it and sat down too.

\- You could say that. But for a Sassenach you seem well known too!

\- Is that an offense? It's been a long time since I heard someone call me that.

\- Oh sorry, I didn't mean to offend, actually I just meant that you being an Englishwoman, I thought you'd rather have beer at a Pub...

She just laughed at my clumsy explanation:

\- No problem, I know it might seem shocking that I don't like to drink beer and shout full of enthusiasm for the soccer game that's going on TV...I think I'm a fake English woman!

I laughed and this time a natural laugh, without having to force myself to do it to please others, to try to show that I was happy when I was not. My muscles relaxed, I could really say I was having fun and we had exchanged just a few words.

\- I think I will drink just a little more! - she spoke and waved to that Jared guy who ended up leaving the bottle for herself to pour.

\- Apparently someone is excited or liked the whisky a lot.

\- I'm going to confess something. - She spoke approaching me on the counter and at the same time I held my breath, why was she so close? - That is the secret of my voice!

I just smiled at this statement while trying to get myself back on the bench, that closeness was causing things I hadn't felt for a while.

\- Ah! How rude of me, I didn't even introduce myself! Claire Beauchamp! - and extended her hand to me.

\- Jamie. Jamie Fraser. - I answered by taking her hand. And then something happened that I couldn't explain, I felt like I had been hit by an electric shock, but it wasn't something bad and I think she had felt the same thing, because she had gotten serious. 

\- Fraser? Is that the same Fraser? - she spoke by turning the label on the whisky bottle that was in front of her.

I just agreed with my head.

\- Ahh now I understand, all this was just marketing, wasn't it?

\- Ok, you found out! Guilty as charged! - I said it by raising my hands in the air. - But you can rest assured that I don't approach people in bars to know what they think about the whisky we produce.

\- I can say it's not a bad idea! You would have sincere opinions!

And so the conversation between us developed, in an easy and light way we talked about nothing serious, just nonsense about how she would make an advertisement for my brand, I talked about her gig, of course not in the way I really enjoyed, but in a more generic way, I did not want her to think I was a crazy admirer. After a long time, I remembered that I had forgotten about Ian's drink and completely abandoned them both at the table, but wasn't that what they wanted? That I would live again? That's what I was doing with Claire.

But unfortunately, my happiness didn't last forever. We were laughing at some nonsense we had spoken when a man who seemed much older than me, stopped beside Claire. He was serious, he was wearing a suit and he didn't seem to belong to the same environment as us. Clearly, he was there for her:

\- Frank! - she spoke in a frightened way and then got up from the bench. - I ended up losing track of the time and forgot to wait outside!

\- I realized. And you forgot your cell phone again! - he spoke seriously, in a dry way and showing the device in his hand.

\- Oh, you know how I am detached from these things!

\- Shall we? - He spoke without even bothering to look at me, he didn't seem to care who she was talking to.

\- Of course! Jamie, it was a pleasure to meet your brand of whisky, I hope you succeed.

She spoke it in such a serious and formal way that I was surprised, it didn't sound like Claire from minutes ago who was making fun of how I pronounce certain words. And she made a point of saying that it had been a pleasure to know my brand and not me. Something was wrong there, but I didn't have time to analyze anymore, in a matter of seconds they were already on the other side of the bar and I was with my hand in the air, without managing to say goodbye to her.

**Can I Be Him?**


	3. Chapter 3: I Heard There Was Someone

The rest of the weekend went by and I didn't notice, but not because I was all day thinking about how my life sucked, but because I couldn't stop listening to the songs she had sung, I couldn't stop thinking about her eyes, her smile and laughter, and of course, her voice. Claire was taking care of my thoughts in a way that I didn't think it would be possible in any human being. And to think I was suffering for having loved too much, no, that was not love, that was not passion, that was something bad, possessive and that only did me harm.

But now I had something to make me get out of bed every day and go to work. I spent the whole week at Fraser's Distillery office, I was excited to sell more, produce more and of course, make the week go by faster so I can see her again on Saturday. I had this idea so fixed in my mind that I did not stop to think about a small detail, which was not so small, in fact it was something that left her totally out of my reach and Ian made a point to remember:

\- Jamie, you don't know the relief you gave me when Murtagh told me that you went back to the office, that you went back to work and still with a smile on your face, but aren't you throwing yourself into something that can only bring you suffering again? - My brother-in-law spoke during a lunch; he had come to Edinburgh to have a meeting with a client and insisted that I should accompany him.

\- First, thank you for reminding me of my suffering when all you tried to do before was to get me out of it, and second, can you be more specific about throwing me into something? If you are talking about work, I swear I don't understand you or Jenny, after all, was I supposed to go back to my normal life and be happy or stay locked inside? Make up your mind because I'm getting confused! - I really couldn't understand what they wanted from me, I couldn't be either too happy or too sad. Would I have to be a person without emotions?

\- You know very well what I'm talking about, we saw how you were when you saw Claire singing at Pub that day and then when you completely forgot about our presence while talking to her at the bar. You came home with the same smile on your face as when you went out with...

\- Don't you dare finish that sentence! - I practically screamed cutting him off. - Don't compare my happiness now with before, I wasn't happy.

\- Are you sure? You were happy in the beginning...

\- Ian, if you continue this conversation, I will leave! You have no idea what I felt or was feeling, yes, I thought I was happy, but I found out that everything was just an illusion, she never made me feel the way I felt when I heard Claire sing...

\- That's what I'm trying to tell you! I know you were totally enchanted with her voice, she is really good, but you can't go down this road again, you will get hurt again and I don't know if I will be able to see my brother go through all that one more time. - Ian spoke in a sad tone of voice, I knew what he was talking about, he was the one who found me the day I thought I could drown all my sorrows at a bar table and drive back to Lallybroch.

\- I won't be stupid and inconsequential again Ian, I learned my lesson and I have the reminder every day on my back. - I took a deep breath and moved in the chair, as if I wanted to remember my scars.

\- You know she has a boyfriend, don't you? - And that's when he managed to break my spirit for the weekend.

Yes, I knew, after all I met him, even if quickly. But I didn't want to admit to myself that that guy, that Frank, was the right person for her. He seemed everything but the ideal partner for Claire. Although I didn't know her that much, the little we talked I could see a bit of her personality and in nothing seemed like that serious guy who entered the bar. I spent the whole week trying to convince myself that nothing was definitive, that I could find her again and she would be alone. I focused so much on her voice, on her way, that I left totally aside that she was somewhat unreachable to me.

\- I know, I met him. - I spoke in a dry way.

\- So did we. He always goes to pick her up, but we had never seen him inside the pub, she always waits for him in front and he just pulls the car over. I think that day she got distracted. - I couldn't help the smile that formed on the corner of my mouth, just like Ian.

Our conversation ended there, the suppliers arrived for the meeting and I thanked for the change of subject. Deep inside I knew everything Ian was warning me about, but I did not want to end the spell, with the hope that had lit up inside me, even if it was small. I also knew there was something wrong with that relationship, Frank didn't seem to be understanding about her career, but I was drawing conclusions based on only one encounter. I stopped thinking about it when Ian called me for the second time, I would let myself worry about it on Saturday, which by the way was already the next day.

It was the third time I looked around, what time would she start singing? I was already at the Pub for half an hour, I knew I had arrived early, but I was almost sinking the floor of my living room from walking to and fro, I really was looking like a teenager in love. I needed to stop it. I had sat at the same table as the week before, right in front of the stage, I wanted a private show again, something just for me. Yes, I was being presumptuous and selfish.

I was playing with my shot of whisky when the stage lights went out. A knot formed in my stomach, I was anxious and looking like a fool. Like last time, only one light was illuminating her as she walked towards the bench and guitar. But something was different, her eyes, they were without brightness, they were sad and even a little red. What had happened? I also noticed an exchange of repertoire, not that I was an expert in everything she sang, but this song was different, different was also her way of singing it, but not in a bad way, it was with more emotion.

I don't know if it was because I was so focused on her, on everything she did, that I almost didn't notice when she closed her performance and much earlier than I expected. She hadn't interacted with the audience and just gave a weak smile when she left the stage and thanked for the few applauses. Without wasting time, I got up and in large steps I got to the bar quickly, I knew I was being rushed, but I needed to talk to her, I needed to listen to her one more time and I had a feeling that she needed it too.

And as I expected, she appeared minutes later beside me making a gesture for Jared to bring her a drink:

\- Did you come to check if I'm still consuming your product? - she spoke sitting next to me, her voice sounded cheerful, but it didn't match her look.

\- I always need to maintain a quality standard. - I answered and let go of my breath, yes, I would be able to do that.

As she downed the first shot of whisky quickly, I asked that Jared to bring the bottle, she just smiled as a silent thank you. We were silent for a minute, but then she started talking to me about random subjects, even tried to convince me that soccer was much better than rugby and so we got lost in conversation and shots of whisky. I was used to drink and really had learned my lesson, I did not drink much and drive. As for Claire, she didn't seem worried about anything but finish the bottle in front of her:

\- I hope you are not thinking about driving back home. - I talked to her looking while she finished one more shot. - Although he's coming for you, Frank, right? - I asked even though I didn't want to know the answer.

\- No, today I'm without my private driver! - she spoke harshly, but not to me, that I knew.

\- I can call you a cab.

\- Gosh, Jamie, I thought we developed a friendship here...are you trying to get rid of me already? - she spoke by putting her glass firmly on the counter, but she smiled while trying to stay serious.

\- Actually they are trying to get rid of us! - I said pointing to all the tables already with the chairs up and that Jared guy cleaning the bar.

\- Today I'm not being welcome anywhere! - Claire spoke in a squeaky voice.

\- Don't say that, I stayed here talking to you until now!

\- Just so you can sell me more of your whisky... - she answered me by hitting me lightly on the arm, but that was enough to cause a reaction in me. - But that's ok, you watched my show and you were the only one who really paid attention, a fair trade! - so she really saw me?

Before I could say anything, she got up and walked to the exit of the bar. I quickly threw some bills on the counter and ran after her, when I arrived at the door of the pub, she was already about to get in a cab. How had she done it so fast? I was going to call her, but I didn't know what to say, luckily I didn't have to make an effort, she saw me and came in my direction, stood on tiptoe and hugged me. I felt as if my body was going to collapse, how could a simple hug cause so much?

\- Thanks Jamie, really. - She spoke breaking away from me with tears in her eyes.

Before I could answer, she got in the car and left me again with my hand up in the air and not knowing what to say.

**I heard there was somone, but I know he don't deserve you  
If you were mine I'd never let anyone hurt you  
I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips  
It's all that I've been thinking about  
'Cause a light came on when I heard that song  
And I want you to sing it again**


	4. Chapter 4: But You Never Saw Me

After that hug, I couldn't think of anything but the day I could see her again. I did everything on automatic, my work, my routine, I couldn't even remember what I ate. I could only think how good it would be to have that hug every day, even being something foolish, it seemed I still had her perfume on me. I wanted to know what had upset her that day, I wanted to know if I really helped her, comforted her, but deep down what I really wanted to know was if she was still with that Frank.

Finally, Saturday arrived and once again I sat at the same table and did the same things, just like her. And we spent another night talking until she ran out of the bar, without at least saying goodbye, aye, apparently Frank was still present in her life. Our conversations never took a very personal direction, we didn't talk about our lives, at least not very personal things. I knew she was passionate about music, of course, but that she had a lot of difficulties to accept that that was her gift and that she had to follow her dream of becoming a professional singer. I also knew that she worked with other things because singing didn't support her yet. She knew what I worked with, she knew that my family worked with me, but she didn't know that she was the person who had pulled me out of the hole I had gotten myself into after suffering for a sick love.

Yes, I thought I had suffered for love, but what I had with Geneva was not nearly what I felt when I saw Claire sing. Geneva, a name that brought me more bad things than good, a name that I wanted to take forever out of my head as I had already taken it out of my life. If you asked me a few months ago, I would say that I had found the person who made me happy, the person who completed me and I won't be honest if I say that this was a total lie, really at the beginning of our relationship, I had fun, I felt loved and wanted by someone and it was a good feeling, but as I discovered later, it was not something healthy.

She always wanted to know what I was doing when I was not with her, she always sent me messages with romantic phrases while I was working, at first, I thought it was nice, she really liked me. But all this took an absurdly large proportion, very fast. If I didn't answer her messages or pick up when she called, she would cry, she would say so many things to me, that made me believe I was really being a terrible boyfriend, I felt guilty and always in constant search to please her.

And it was hurting me, I had gotten away from my friends, my family, all because she wanted to spend more time with me, but actually she just wanted me to have no one else but her. And the worst thing I was really believing that having just her was enough. How good she was in manipulating my feelings, very good. Until the day we fought, we had a big fight, because of me, because I hadn't told her that I would have a meeting with a client right on the day she had scheduled a dinner with her family. But I had told her, had sent a message and called. But for her it wasn't enough, she wanted me to cancel and go to the dinner, but I couldn't, it was an important client, we couldn't afford to lose that sale.

Of course, we fought and I lost my temper, I talked too much and she didn't like it. But now remembering the argument, I didn't say anything she didn't deserve to hear, she was suffocating me and was going crazy, that wasn't love, that was an obsession, a possession without limits. And that's when I went to the nearest bar and drank until I forgot her words, forgot how she had treated me and how I had been a bad boyfriend. I decided to go to Lallybroch, to my sister's house, to the house that had belonged to my parents, to the place that I felt loved, that I felt safe. That decision was not a good one, I had drunk too much and the winding curves leading to my family's property were dangerous.

Two days later I woke up in the hospital, my sister and Ian by my side with features that I will never forget. I had barely escaped death, but on my back remained the scars of my imprudence forever. Geneva went to see me while I was there and managed to bring me down again, if not enough to be feeling bad for worrying my whole family and almost lost my life, she threw in my face that I was an irresponsible person and would not be presentable to her family, even more with those grotesque scars. And so in the same abrupt way she entered my life, she left, leaving me devastated and heartbroken, but not for her but for me and my family, because of her I had lost months of my life, because of her I had gotten away from everyone I loved, because of her I had drunk and suffered a stupid accident that almost took my life and devastated my family. Yes, I was devastated and feeling like an idiot, why should I go on?

But everything had changed that Saturday that Jenny and Ian took me to the pub, the day I heard the voice that calmed me down, the voice that gave me hope and the eyes that made me see that I was better than Geneva thought I was, that it was worth falling in love and living a great love. I just needed to make Claire understand this. Another Saturday arrived and I was there again, watching her and waiting for our shot of whisky and conversation.

\- I'm starting to think you're chasing me! - Claire spoke smiling as she sat on the same bench as usual.

\- I just enjoy a good show and a good shot of whisky. - I spoke while lifting my glass in a silent toast with her.

\- I know, you always sit at the same table and accompany all my songs.

\- So, you see me? - my question had come out in a sharp tone and she laughed when she saw my reaction.

\- It would be hard not to notice a redhead almost two meters tall sitting in front of the stage! You are practically everything I see!

I smiled helplessly, I had never thought about it, I was in front of everyone else, but it didn't matter, she had noticed me, she knew I was watching her. We stayed a few minutes in silence, but it wasn't something uncomfortable, it seemed that we were both preparing for something better to happen in minutes. And that's what happened, we started talking as we always did, nothing too personal, but soon the course was changing and for the first time she started telling more details of her life, she seemed to be more relaxed, without worrying about the time and running out of the bar. I found out that she worked in a cafe near my office, I always passed by there, but I had never entered, what a bad luck, if I had entered, I would have met her before ...

\- Why don't you stop by? I promise I'll return those shots of whisky in coffee, or whatever you like the most! - she spoke when we were already being sent away from the bar.

\- That's okay. - And that's all I could answer. What an idiot, I had received the invitation I had been waiting for so long and treated it like something trivial.

She just smiled and started walking in the opposite direction to mine:

\- Today I'm leaving on foot, to see if I'll get sober until I get home!

\- Isn't it dangerous to go alone at this time? - I asked, even knowing it wasn't, but I just wanted one more chance to be by her side.

\- I think I'm already a big girl, but I'll take a company on this walk, if you want, of course.

\- I need to stay sober too!

And so we walked to her house, I had no idea where it was, but I didn't want to know, not that time, I wanted to hear her voice more, to know more, in short, just spend more time with her. Unfortunately, it didn't take us long to get to a small building that she claimed to be her home, at that time I couldn't help thinking why Frank would always pick her up at Pub, if she lived so close? And why did she always run afraid of losing her ride?

\- Well...we have reached my destination! I don't know where you live, but I hope I didn't make you walk too much!

\- Not a bit, I live nearby! - It was a lie, I lived in the opposite direction and my car was parked next to the Pub, but she didn't need to know that.

\- I loved our conversation Jamie, as always! And you don't think you'll get rid of me that easy, I want you to try the coffee I make, I'm sure it won't be much better than your whisky recipe that's been in your family for over 200 years!

\- I'm sure it will come close!

\- I like that you are a terrible liar Fraser! But anyway, stop by! I don't do much and our conversation would liven up my day! - she spoke and smiled.

Did she really said what I had heard? She really wanted me to be with her and I brightened up her day? For a change, I was stuck in my thoughts that I didn't see her approaching, I just came back to myself when I felt her lips on my cheek.

\- Good night Jamie! Be careful not to get lost on the way back to Pub! - and laughing she ran to enter her building.

Aye, she was smarter than I thought. All I could do was laugh and go back to Pub looking forward to next week.

**But I know you never saw me  
When the lights come on and I'm on my own  
Will you be there to sing it again?  
Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?**

**Can I be the one?**


	5. Chapter 5: Can I Be The One?

I was standing across the street looking at the sign of the cafe she worked at. I had spent the day working without any free time to worry about what to say when I would see her, but now I had nothing else to do, it was the end of the day and what I wanted most was to hear her voice and as incredible as it sounds, have a coffee. But my feet were not moving, I was nervous and all because I did not know what would happen, what would be her reaction on seeing me? She would be busy and we would only say hello? Fraser, get a grip and stop with this craziness! You are not 15 years old anymore and you know how to talk to women! But Claire wasn't any woman...

\- How long are you going to be standing here for? - Murtagh said it by taking me out of my thoughts.

\- I was just thinking...

\- ...how you feel like having a cup of coffee? - he laughed. - If I hadn't known you for so long, I'd say your thoughts involved a certain whisky-eyed barista who answers by Claire.

\- Do you know Claire? - I asked astonishingly, why all my family seems to know her and I never knew of her existence?

\- Ah, so I was right! - he laughed again, something that was rare in my godfather. - Of course I do, I go to this place every day for coffee! Or do you think the coffee that is on your table every morning comes by itself?

\- But why don't you ever...

\- Because you never asked! - he answered me before I could finish the question. - Now stop this indecision and be the boy your father raised so well, I'm sure the lass will like what she is going to see ... and if everything goes wrong, at least you will have a good coffee!

And with a stupid smile on his face, Murtagh left me alone again. I took a deep breath and started walking, my godfather was right, the worst that could happen was me having to have a coffee alone. I entered the small cafeteria and a little bell above the door swayed warning my arrival. I looked at the counter and our gaze crossed, I tried to stay serious, but she soon opened a smile that I could not avoid to reciprocate.

\- I thought you would spend the rest of the day standing across the street! - she spoke with an even bigger smile, almost on the edge of laughter.

\- But how? You? - my phrase didn't make any sense, but was I the only fool not to realize that I could be seen by everyone playing the idiot in the middle of the street? By the way, yes!

\- I already said that you are a difficult person to pass unnoticed, right? And as you can see, there's not a lot of movement around here, I like to watch people wandering around the street, it distracts me to imagine what they are going to do, what they are thinking...you should be wondering if I would really be good company, or if I would be boring without all the alcohol present in my body.

\- You're really good at this! But for now, your company is tolerable. - I spoke laughing as I noticed her expression getting serious.

\- Keep it that up Jamie Fraser and your free coffee won't happen!

We talked for a little while she tried to convince me to try a coffee full of things that she claimed to be her specialty, I always had it black, with nothing else, but after much insistence, I let her make that special coffee. Without much ceremony, she left the counter and called me to sit at a table near the window, which she claimed to be the best in the place, since it was possible to observe all the movement.

\- Won't it be a problem for you to sit here with me?

\- Oh no! It's almost the end of my shift and I'm sure no one else will come in... but what about it? What did you think of my coffee? - she asked while watching me intensely. I could hardly take the liquid without choking, she was staring at me in such a way that I could only think of inappropriate things.

\- Umm, it's, it's really good...

\- Jamie Fraser, did they ever tell you that you're a terrible liar? I can see that you barely swallowed the little coffee you had without making a face of someone who hated it!

\- How can you accuse me like that? I really liked it! - I talked by taking one more sip of the coffee and couldn't avoid making a face this time.

\- See! I said you didn't like it! - she gave me a slap on my arm that was on the table and I'm sure we both felt the shock between our skins, but both were quiet. - Do you want me to get you another coffee? This time a black one, plain and without any fuzz? - she asked more seriously.

\- No, it's okay.

\- No, it's not, you hated this one and I'm sure you're just trying not to hurt me! It's ok, Fraser, I'm used to getting criticism! - she spoke trying to smile, but the smile did not come.

\- Claire. - I spoke taking her hand. - Seriously, it's not that bad, I just need to get used to the different taste, and you may not be the perfect barista, but I know this is not your talent, aye? You were born to sing and not to make coffee!

I saw that her eyes were filled with tears with my words, it was not my goal to make her cry, on the contrary, I wanted to make her feel good, but by the way someone had hurt her with words, hard words that caused the tears that were in her eyes now.

\- I'm sorry. - She spoke while trying to disguise her crying face. - I wasn't always this sensitive to what they say to me, you know? But lately I haven't received much encouragement and the little self-esteem I had is ending...

She stopped talking for a minute, but I knew she was creating courage to vent and I didn't want to interrupt, I just squeezed her hand, giving her incentive to continue.

\- I think you met Frank...well, he's my boyfriend, I mean, he was, in fact I still don't know where we stand in this relationship. I met him while taking some music classes at the university, I never officially studied anything related to music, but my uncle knew everyone there and let me rehearse and practice a little with other students and teachers. One day Frank was passing in front of the room while I was singing, he says he fell in love with my voice before seeing me, only it seems that later he lost the fascination for my "talent". - She made a point of putting the word in quotation marks, I didn't understand why she minimized so much the gift she had. - He thought I sang for a hobby, just to have fun and that I would finish my course in Archeology, but it wasn't what I really imagined to do, not for the rest of my life, I had only started studying because it was the same profession as my uncle and when he passed away, I thought I owed it to him, but I was wrong.

Again, she stopped talking, took a deep breath and continued.

\- When I told Frank that I had dropped the course and that I would start singing in my friends' bar, gee, I thought I had committed the most serious of crimes. He called me childish, irresponsible and what would they say about him in college? A teacher like him dating a cheap bar singer? And he made a point of saying that I wasn't even that good to think that I could one day succeed! Do you know what's worse about all this? I still apologized and begged him to let me sing, that I would be discreet and nobody would know what I was doing, that he could pick me up as soon as the show was over.

I always knew that Frank had something wrong, that he wasn't the right guy for her, but now knowing all this just increased my anger for this idiot! How could he do this to her? To humiliate, to reduce her in a way that no person deserves, even more for a person who should love her unconditionally! I could feel what Claire felt, because I had suffered the same damage with Geneva, she had done the same, reduced me to an incompetent boyfriend, insufficient and still totally dependent on her approval. I squeezed her hand harder and she smiled at me, as if it was a guarantee that everything was ok.

\- But I think you can already imagine what happened, right? When he went to get me and I wasn't waiting for him in the usual place, he freaked out! And even more when he saw me talking to you. - She was silent when she saw my look of amazement. - As if he could say something, I already caught him talking to several students, and let's say it wasn't about class subjects! I don't know if I'll scare you by saying this, but talking to you all those nights brought me a peace that I hadn't had for a long time, made me realize that I don't need Frank's presence in my life, really presence, because I haven't had company for a long time.

I did not know what to say, my heart seemed to want to go out through my mouth, she had spoken exactly how I felt about her, but I did not know if talking about it would scare her, she was opening up to me, telling me something painful and that she did not even know if it was over, I would not throw on her more things to solve, she did not need this now:

\- No, it doesn't scare me, I'm flattered to know that I helped you in some way. And Claire, one thing I want you to know, you're great at what you do, at singing, because making coffee... - she laughed and hit me lightly in the arm. - And never let someone tell you the opposite, I'm sure that one day I will go to your concert that has more than ten people watching and I will be able to hear your songs on Spotify, I have no doubts! And you can count on me for whatever you need, from sponsoring a gig of yours, to talking about stupid things when you feel bad or receiving bad news. I know this music world isn't easy, but know that if you need it, you have your number one fan to cheer you up!

\- That's what I like and at the same time I get angry with you! You always seem to know the things I need to hear! Is Jamie Fraser not only a whisky producer, but also a loving advisor?

\- A loving advisor? If you knew what I've been through, you'd never think about it...

\- Whenever you want, I'm here to listen, always! - she smiled and intertwined our fingers.

We got lost in each other's eyes that we didn't hear the bell warn us about the person entering the establishment. Our hands were still intertwined when I felt Claire get tense and squeeze me, before I could turn around to see what was happening, I saw her lips get dry and make a small sound:

\- Frank.

**Can I be the one?** **  
Can I be the one?  
Can I be the one?  
Oh, can I, can I be him?**


	6. Chapter 6: I Swear That Every Word You Sing, You Wrote Them For Me

Of course he had to appear, I think this guy had a sixth sense to disturb good moments between me and Claire. I mean, for me we were in a good moment, but by the way she looked at Frank, she hadn't liked the appearance of her ex-boyfriend either. 

\- I knew I was right about you, and that day wanted to convince me that you had nothing to do with this guy, that you were only talking about business! - Frank talked in a mocking way when he approached our table.

I still had my back to him, I couldn't see him, but I could tell by his tone of voice that he wasn't happy with the situation, just like Claire, who had a serious look, I knew she was tense, our hands were still entwined and she didn't seem to want to unravel herself, on the contrary, she was squeezing my fingers even tighter, as if she was trying to find the strength to face that conversation:

\- Frank, I explained, Jamie and I are friends, he became interested in my music and I in the whisky he makes, we just exchanged ideas, not that this is of your interest, after all we have nothing more.

\- As far as I know, you just asked for some time to understand our relationship, I didn't know that you had already moved on, by the way it looks, you've done it before we decided anything! Who I was kidding, I knew that this thing of singing in a bar wouldn't work!

\- I asked for some time, but you disappeared, you didn't answer me anymore, so I understood the message, better move on with our separate lives, now if you'll excuse me, I'll continue the conversation with my friend.

\- Do you still want me to believe this friend story? And what are you talking about business? You don't even sing that well for anyone to be interested! By the way he's looking at you I guarantee that your voice is the last thing that interests him! I know that because I felt the same way, I only said that your voice had won me over to get you into bed! And it worked, right?

With every word Frank said, my anger increased, I was using all my self-control not to stand up and blow up this bully's face, but I was more worried about Claire, I saw that her eyes were filled with tears with the harsh words of her ex-boyfriend, how could he treat her that way? Frank was laughing, probably because he thought he had been successful with his remarks. I looked again at Claire and squeezed her hand, I wanted a confirmation, an authorization that I could interfere, I don't know if she had understood my message, but she returned my gesture and without thinking twice I got up from the chair, forcing Frank to take a step back.

Now his features had changed, he no longer had the smile stamped on his face, probably because I was standing next to him, he could see that I was taller and stronger, but he was too presumptuous to admit defeat:

\- Do you want to play the hero to conquer her? Don't waste your time, she's not worth so much effort, she'll soon drop you for another one she will meet in the bar...

\- I don't need to make an effort, and not that you deserve any satisfaction, but I really admired Claire's voice, yes, she is very beautiful and draws attention wherever she goes, but it was her words and her voice which made me want to talk to her and I will never waste my time in her company, I'm not like you who only wanted to have her as a perfect girlfriend trophy and when she didn't meet your expectations, you humiliated her, making her feel inferior, making her discredit the talent she possesses. I believe in her and I know the infinite possibilities she will have when she believes too, now if you'll excuse us, I want to continue to drink my coffee quietly and finish my business with Claire, she has already made it very clear that you are not welcome here.

And with this I sat down again and look at Claire who now put on a little smile on her face. She mumbled a thank you that I ignored, she did not need to thank me, in fact she did, she needed to thank me for keeping me from hitting this poor guy who still stood next to me, standing like a statue:

\- Frank, I think Jamie was very clear, no?

I looked up and saw that Frank seemed to foam from his mouth, I was sure that I had pissed him off, but before he could talk anymore, his cell phone rang and as he saw who was calling him, his expression changed:

\- It won't stay that way! I don't accept being treated like this! - And at hard footsteps, he left the cafeteria with his cell phone in his ear.

\- He can't even imagine that I held on not to treat him in a much worse way than that! - I said it laughing.

\- Jamie, I'm sorry, I didn't know he would show up here, you didn't deserve to hear that...he thinks that we, well, in his head, he thinks that... - but I interrupted her.

\- Claire, you don't have to apologize, he's an idiot who doesn't deserve you and even less your forgiveness. I don't care a bit what he thinks about me, about us, it's his problem! What I know is that I like your company and I think you like mine too.

I saw a small smile appear on her face, as well as a blush on her cheeks:

\- I think you're getting too sure of yourself, Fraser!

\- Coffee effect!

We both laugh.

\- Even so, thank you, I don't know if what you said to Frank is true or just to piss him off, even so, thank you.

\- Claire, as you have already told me several times, I'm a terrible liar, you know very well that everything I said is true.

She just smiled and lowered her head:

\- I think it's better to gather all this, it's past time to leave! And I don't get extra hours!

And with a speed I had never seen before, she gathered the coffee cups, packed everything out of place, took off her uniform and closed the cafeteria, she was really in a hurry to leave. I didn't, I wanted to be able to stay with her for the rest of the night, but I knew it wouldn't be possible:

\- Do you want a ride home? - I spoke quickly, I had to try to stay with her longer.

\- My legs are killing me, I won't be able to be polite and refuse this favor!

\- And you don't even have to, come on, my car is in the parking lot of my office.

\- Ah, but this Jamie Fraser is really fancy!

\- Better not say that before seeing my office, you may be disappointed!

\- Any office is better than working in a coffee shop! Speaking of which, I wonder if now that I've bought you a coffee, I don't deserve a bottle of your whisky? I promise to offer it to my friends and advertise it, except you, of course.

I looked at her and arched an eyebrow:

\- Possessive with your friends, Claire?

\- Only with the best! - And with a shy smile, she lowered her head and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

Arriving in the car, I was still trying to understand if I was receiving and understanding the signs of Claire right, she was really interested in me the same way I was in her? And since when was I so insecure about a girl? But it wasn't just any girl, it was her, Claire, my Sorcha. What my Jamie? She was nothing but a friend.

\- The traffic light is green! Jamie!

\- Huh? Oh, right! - I had gotten so stuck in my thoughts that I didn't realize that I hadn't spoken to her at all in the last few minutes.

\- Are you okay? You seem worried about something.

\- Oh, it's nothing! Things from work I remembered I have to do tomorrow.

\- Seriously Fraser, I need to teach you to be more convincing when you lie, not that I'm experienced at it, they say that everything I think shows up on my face!

\- At least we know it will be hard for one to lie to the other!

\- Why? Do you think this will happen a lot between us?

\- No Claire, I just wanted to say... - but she was laughing, and a lot.

\- Oh, it's so good and easy to make you confused! I have fun!

\- I don't see how funny it is...

\- I know, that's why it's even funnier.

\- Look, we arrived at your house! - I spoke trying to cut it out.

\- I think someone got angry!

\- I am not, I am just saying that we arrived at your house.

\- Is this a polite way of saying that you're driving me out of your car?

\- No Claire... - I sighed - I really just wanted to say that we arrived!

\- Oh, so now you're inviting yourself to my house?

\- No! Where did you get that from? Dear God woman, I can't say anything that you already interpret in any other way! I just wanted to say that... - but my sentence didn't continue, next thing I knew, Claire was with her lips pressed against mine, yes, she had shut me up with a kiss, a kiss that I didn't expect and that frankly I wouldn't have the courage to start, but I had no problem in continuing it, just like she didn't have any problem in returning it either.

**I swear that every word you sing** **  
You wrote them for me**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that Claire was indeed interested in Jamie 🤭🤭🥰 Thank you for all the comments and kudos! ❤❤❤❤


	7. Chapter 7: Can I Be Him?

I was still anesthetized with what had happened when she separated from me, and I knew that she had only done this to catch her breath, because I was in the same situation. I couldn't avoid the smile when I saw her face turn red when she faced me. At the same time she was daring to kiss me, she was shy to face me afterwards, I thought it was so cute:

\- I could offer you a coffee, but besides having nothing at home, you just had several cups...maybe whisky? It won't be as good as yours, but...

\- I'll make an exception for the company and risk another brand. - I answered with a completely silly smile on my face.

I knew I could be rushing things by accepting the invitation to go to her house, but who was I kidding? That kiss only awakened things in me that were no longer so sleepy in her presence, I did not want to stay later wondering what could have happened, if I did not accept the invitation, I did not want to regret, but I also did not want to put anything to lose. How could I be so confused? I have always been a practical guy, but by the looks of things I have never been a good boyfriend or anything else, and I also had never met someone like Claire, who could make me totally crazy, indecisive and speechless, rare things for Jamie Fraser.

We got out of the car and Claire was pulling my hand to her apartment, I could feel her cold hand, she was nervous and restless:

\- It's not much, but I can live, ignore the mess because I don't usually receive visitors and I don't have much time to organize ... - she was talking fast, throwing things aside, trying to hide others. I pulled her by the arm, making her stand very close to me, our faces close together.

\- Claire. - I spoke lifting her face so she could see me. - Hey, let's breathe? If me being here makes you nervous, I can leave, I don't want you to do anything you'll regret later, I may not have many qualities, but I have patience and a lot of respect for you...

I felt her take a deep breath and open a small smile:

\- I know Jamie, I wouldn't expect less from you, but I really want your company, otherwise I wouldn't have invited you, but it's just... - I saw that she was pondering what she was going to say, she also started playing with the hem of my shirt. - It's just that there was only one person who came here before, I mean, several people have come to my apartment, but only one man, actually there were not several people, I have few friends and...

Now it had been my turn to shut her up with a kiss, I knew she was nervous about us, about what could happen and I couldn't help but silence her, I wanted to show that I was the same way she was, but that I was happy to be there, that she chose me, that she gave me this trust that she didn't give to many people, that in my opinion, I had shown her it was worth it. The kiss started in a loving, innocent way, but our proximity brought something else and soon we were in an intense battle of space, both with our hands and tongue. My hands were all over her back, I was lifting her blouse lightly, I wanted to feel her skin and it really was as I imagined, soft, smooth and warm. I felt her sigh between the kisses when she felt my hand on her skin, I pulled her closer, if that was still possible and she reciprocated by taking the hand that was on my face to my chest, then lowering it to my waist, I knew what she was doing, and soon felt her despair in trying to open the buckle of my belt:

\- Sassenach... - I whispered as I turned away, with much sacrifice, from her mouth. - Are you sure?

She just stared at me with her whisky colored eyes, they were shining and full of desire, I could barely see her nod and pulled her by the hair, she was really driving me crazy and I knew that now it would be impossible to resist any attempt of separation, I wouldn't be able to contain myself and it scared me, she woke up things I haven't felt for a while, if I ever felt this for any woman. I felt her on her tiptoes so that she could be closer to me, soon my hands went through her blouse, I tried to be delicate, but my desire to feel her whole was stronger and that piece of clothing soon ended up on the floor beside us:

\- Christ! You are so beautiful Sassenach! - I spoke as I learned about her body, she was not wearing a bra and that made me have a vision of perfection that was my Sorcha.

I felt her shrinking before my observation, trying to cover herself with her hands, but I didn't let her, she had to know that she was perfect and worthy of any admiration:

\- Claire, you don’t need to be ashamed; you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and you deserve all the praise.

\- So, let's be fair. - She gave me a crooked smile and ran her delicate hands by my shirt, pulling it, doing the same as I had done with her minutes ago. - You're not bad either, Fraser, not at all!

I smiled and pulled her towards me again, no matter how much I told Claire how beautiful she was, being in front of her without doing anything was a torture that would not last longer. Our kisses were so intense that I could feel our teeth collide again and again, little by little I was pushing her to where I imagined to be her room, I could not see anything in front of me, but I got the way and when I laid her on her bed, I could only have eyes for her and what we could do.

In a matter of minutes our clothes were scattered on the floor and I was there again admiring and kissing her everywhere I could imagine and reach. Her laughter provoked me even more and the next thing I knew, I was on her, our bodies glued, sweaty, our names and moans echoed and mingled around the room. I couldn't describe what I was feeling at the moment, Claire was lying on me, our legs were intertwined and I could only feel our irregular beats trying to get back to normal, yes, I had had the best sex of my life and I was not ashamed to admit it:

\- Sassenach... that... was...

\- Perfect? - she completed what I was going to say with a smile on her face.

\- Yes, it looks like my heart is going to explode.

\- I think mine has already exploded! – she laughed a little bit. - But Jamie, can I confess something?

\- Of course! - I answered by pulling her closer, which seemed impossible.

\- I'm scared, this intensity, all this between us, I've never...well, not that I've had much experience, but I've never felt this before and I'm scared...

I got up a little, trying to get face to face with her, I wanted her to look into my eyes:

\- Claire, when I saw you that day singing in the bar, you in a few seconds knocked me off, I had never felt what I felt when I heard your voice and saw your eyes, you brought me back to life when I thought I couldn't feel anything else for someone, and that scared me too, but I know there is something between us, something I can't understand, and maybe you don't either, but it's something that seems so right, so perfect...

I saw that her eyes lit up with tears and I kissed her:

\- I just don't want to hurt myself again, I don't know if I could stand hearing from you what I heard from him...

\- Sassenach, I will never hurt you, I will try my best not to do that, and no, you will not hear the same words, as I said before, you are perfect...

\- Jamie, nobody is perfect and I am far from that, very far!

\- Not for me! And I want you to start believing this, of course we have flaws, like for example, you're not Scottish and you don't like rugby. - She laughed, hit me in the arm and bit me - I think it's better not to continue with this Sassenach, otherwise I can't finish my speech! - she laughed again and got away from me. - What I want you to know is that you are beautiful, talented and now, mine!

\- Oh yeah? I didn't know that... - she spoke with a naughty smile and staying on top of me - And by any chance you are mine too? - I just agreed with my head, not being able to say anything in the position I was in. - Then I will claim what is rightfully mine!

Yes, our night was long.

**Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?** **  
Can I be him?**


	8. Chapter 8: And Now My Heart Has Been Stolen

I never thought I would be happy again to wake up next to a woman, but everything changed when I opened my eyes and faced the most beautiful and delicate face I had ever seen. Her curls were on my chest, scattered in all directions and her white skin seemed even brighter with the little beam of light entering through the bedroom window. I could spend hours admiring, but I couldn't help myself, my fingers went lightly through the curves of his body, causing an instant shiver. I smiled as I saw this reaction to my touch.

Soon a pair of whiskey-colored eyes were staring at me. They still looked sleepy, but shone with an intensity that now was my turn to feel a chill through my body. Yes, I was completely in love with this woman and I was not even a little ashamed of it. I was happy and she seemed to be too:

\- Will you keep staring at me like that? Without even care? I'm sure I must be scary.

\- Not a bit Sassenach. - I saw that she was trying to tame her curls behind her ear and I stopped her. - No, leave them free, you look much prettier that way.

\- Looking like Medusa?

\- You know that according to the legend, Medusa was very attractive and most of it was because of her snake hair... - I spoke pulling Claire close to me.

\- Oh of course, I don't know if I take that as a compliment or not. - But I didn't give her time to think about anything else, with my hand pulling her hair a little to the side, I started to kiss her on the neck. - We have to stop this habit of interrupting the other person's speech with kisses... - she tried, but her words were breaking and almost without breath.

Claire gave up talking and the only sound that came out of her mouth were incoherent sighs and syllables that seemed to be my name, but I was not worried about understanding either, I just wanted to continue what I was doing, her body seemed to call mine and I would not deny it. The only thing that managed to interrupt my mission was the sound of her belly growling, I couldn't stay serious while kissing her and started laughing:

\- I think someone is hungry.

\- Stop laughing! It's all your fault! I don't know if you remember, but you dragged me to the bedroom minutes after entering the house, I didn't have time for dinner and I still made a lot of physical effort...

\- I didn't see anyone complaining! - I said it and kept kissing her, but again I was interrupted by the sound of her stomach. - Aye, I guess I'll have to give that up and take you for breakfast!

She just smiled victoriously to me and with a lot of sacrifice I got away from her and sat on the bed to look for my clothes. While I was distracted in my search, I felt Claire's hand delicately pass through my scars on my back. At the same time my body became tense and she probably noticed, because she soon took her hand from where it was. I took a deep breath and turned to face her:

\- I had forgotten them. - I still couldn't lift my head to see her, she was probably afraid, repulsed by this grotesque part of my body. - No need to touch them, I'll understand if you're repulsed, I'll put my shirt on...

\- Jamie! - she spoke loudly, preventing me from getting out of bed. - Look at me. - It was an order, but I couldn't obey it. - Look at me, you stubborn Scot!

At the same time I lifted my head and faced her, only my sister called me that, yes, I was stubborn, but I did not know how Claire had learned so fast and could not contain a small smile on the corner of my mouth, but that soon disappeared when I saw Claire's eyes with tears:

\- Jamie, why would I be repulsed by you? You are the most perfect person I have ever met! And what are some scars? We all have, some may not be external, but they are part of who we are, of our history and I would never like you less because of that and I like you a lot. It won't be some scars that will take me away from this wonderful Scot who knew me when I was at my worst and made me feel like the most famous singer in the world and still gave me whisky!

I didn't contain the smile and the tiny tear that I didn't know I was holding. The only person who had seen my scars before was Geneva and she made a point of showing how disgusted she felt with them. I was aware of how my body had looked, but hearing this from a person you trusted with your heart hurt too much, much more than the scars.

\- How? - was Claire's only word as she passed her delicate fingers all over my body.

\- Car accident...I, I had drunk a lot and... - the words seemed to coiled up in my throat and I knew why, I had never told anyone about the accident.

\- Jamie, it's ok if it's too hard for you, we don't need to talk about it now.

\- I think I do, I, I never told anyone about what happened, the only people who know are my family and her...

I felt her touch get tense with the last word I said, but even so I continued, I needed to get that out, she needed to know:

\- The same way you had Frank in your life, I had her, Geneva. We met because of business between our families, she always attended the parties that my parents threw, her parents have a lot of money and like to invest in several areas, such as beverages. I always saw her as a spoiled girl, but we grew up and she became an attractive woman and after a lot of insistence from my sister, I finally asked her out. - I stopped talking to see Claire's features, but she kept her head down while her fingers did little drawings on my skin. - At first, we were really happy, at least I thought we were, but she was always there, if not personally, it was by message, calls. I started to feel suffocated, I didn't go out with my friends anymore, I didn't see my family and even spending all my time with her, it wasn't enough and as much as I knew everything was wrong, I tried everything to please her, I felt like a terrible boyfriend...

Her hand, which until then was running behind my back, went against mine and we intertwined our fingers, the same thing I had done with her when she was telling me about her relationship with Frank:

\- Until one day we fought, I couldn't go to a dinner she had organized and even though I had told her before that I was in an important work meeting, she didn't accept, she wanted to be more important. I couldn't stand it and said everything that was locked inside me for months, I know I wasn't very kind, but she wasn't either. I ended up going to a bar to drown my sorrows, amazing as it may seem, I still felt bad that we fought. After drinking everything and a little more, I wanted to go to my family's house, where my sister lives, but it's in the Highlands and the road is not the best...well, I think you already know what happened! I woke up days later in the hospital feeling the worst person in the world for making my family suffer, for almost dying because of her...

\- Oh Jamie! - she said and hugged me tight, as if I was going to disappear from there if she didn't hold me in her arms.

\- But the worst of it is that she went to see me in the hospital and made a point of saying that I was an irresponsible person, that I was no good for her family, even more with the grotesque scars on my back. - I could feel Claire's tears wet my shoulder. - That day she destroyed me, I had made everyone suffer because of a sick relationship and I was still carrying on my back the memory of my irresponsibility, I didn't think I deserved to live for anyone...until the day my sister with her giant stubbornness dragged me out of the house, to a bar where my heart started beating again...Claire, you brought me back to life.

She pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes, they were still in tears, but a smile seemed to appear on her face, just like it was appearing on mine. I wiped her tears and kissed her, a loving kiss, a passionate kiss full of promises:

\- We're a mess, aren't we? But you are mine now Jamie Fraser, and whoever says you're not good enough for me, can go to hell. - And she kissed me hard.


	9. Chapter 9: Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!! This story is short, but very special to me!! ❤❤

After spending the whole day in bed, not only doing what would be the most obvious for the scenario, but talking, getting to know each other more, even though I thought I knew her all my life and that she held all my secrets and stories, there was nothing I wanted or could hide from her. The same seemed to come from her, after we shared our painful stories, something awakened, in fact it had already happened when we kissed and donated ourselves to each other, something powerful had happened that I could not understand, but I knew it was there, that at that time, that day, we had become one.

Even wanting to take her for a breakfast worthy of the hunger she seemed to be feeling, Claire did not let me out of the house, did not want to leave our bubble and I can confess that I also had no desire to share her with the rest of the world, at least not at that time. We improvised something to eat with what she had and continued to exchange experiences and caresses; I couldn't complain a bit about my day. But unfortunately, our bubble would have to burst, Claire would play at the bar and I couldn't deny that I was eager to see her sing once again, even more now knowing that I had her for me, that it was really a private show. Ok, it wasn't, but I felt it was.

\- Are you sure you don't want me to stay here until the time to take you to the bar? - I asked for the tenth time, while we tried to say goodbye.

\- No need Jamie, I already said I need to rehearse some new songs and I don't like an audience, at least not when I'm rehearsing and you would be a distraction. - I couldn't hold my smile when I heard this - and besides I want my number one fan to be presentable and not wearing the same clothes for two days!

\- Oh, so you really declare me your number one fan? Do I have privileges about it? - I asked her taking her by the waist and bringing her close to me.

\- What other privileges do you want? Isn't everything I do for you enough? - she laughed and kissed me.

\- I think you'd better be careful what you ask Sassenach, you may not be able to handle the answer! - and I kissed her back.

\- I always do! - she spoke with a naughty smile on her face, but moving away when I kissed again. - Fraser, you have to go, if we stay like this, I won't be able to rehearse and I still have the risk of missing my presentation!

\- I don't see much problem in that... - I got an angry look from her. - Okay, okay, I'm going! What time do I stop by?

\- Why don't you go straight to the Pub? I don't want to risk you losing your favorite table.

\- I don't care. What time?

\- Jamie Fraser, I can very well go alone to the pub, you can go before and get the usual table, when you least expect it, I will be there on stage in front of you!

I took a deep breath and just agreed with my head, one thing I had already learned from Claire is that I would never win an argument like this, she was independent and liked to be that way, that's why Frank did so much harm to her, he didn't understand her and forced her to something that wasn't hers. I would never make the same mistake.

\- All right! But don't be late, you may be in danger of losing your number one fan! - I said it laughing and stealing a quick kiss from her before I left, I knew I'd be punished for it.

While I was walking down the stairs, I could only hear her screaming my whole name and several other things, I couldn't hold the laugh, yeah, my Sassenach was perfect for me. I got home and could not stop smiling like a fool to remember everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, my heart seemed to really want to go out my mouth, it was such an intense feeling that frightened me, I had never felt this way for anyone and not so fast, but it seemed so right and just thinking about her smile, everything seemed to calm inside me. I ended up napping on the couch and was scared to wake up and see that everything was already dark, my God, how long had I slept? I got up still half sleepy, tripping over everything and ran to take a shower and get ready, that night was not for me to be late! 

I quickly looked at my cell phone and saw that there was a message from Claire, it was a picture of the guitar that she always used to play at the bar and the caption said: "My number one fan is ready? I answered with just a few emojis and ran to finish getting ready, there was not much time to be romantic in the answer. In less than half an hour I was already sitting at my usual table, with my usual drink, the only thing that didn't seem the same, was my anxiety, my feet were restless as well as my hands, I almost knocked over the whisky twice at the next table and saw that I was starting to annoy others with my restlessness. I tried to control myself, but when the lights went out, everything seemed to stop, there was no one else around me, just her, wonderful as always, illuminating the whole stage with her presence.

She greeted everyone in the establishment and said that she had changed a little the repertoire of the night, that she had added a mashup of two songs that were very special to her, even more that night, in that moment of her life. My eyebrows arched, I was curious and at the same time apprehensive. She, for the first time, looked at me directly and smiled, not only with her mouth, but also with her eyes, I had got the message, the songs were for me and at that time I needed to hold on to the table, because I was no longer trusting the rest of my body. She began to play the notes slowly and soon her voice took over all the space, her voice perfect and sweet, her voice loaded with emotion and her eyes shining, and best of all, for me. I didn't need more words to recognize the first song, it was Fly Me To The Moon:

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AigLlj61HAo> (please, listen while reading this part)

**_"Fly Me To The Moon_ **

**_Let me play among the stars_ **

**_Let me see what spring is like_ **

**_On a, Jupiter and Mars_ **

**_In other words, hold my hand_ **

**_In other words, baby, kiss me"_ **

After this first verse, she started the other song and I also promptly recognized it, it was La Vie Em Rose:

**_"Hold me close and hold me fast_ **

**_The magic spell you cast_ **

**_This is La vie en rose_ **

**_When you kiss me heaven sighs_ **

**_And though I close my eyes_ **

**_I see La vie en rose_ **

My eyes were fixed on her, my heart beat stronger as she sang, she was mixing the two songs brilliantly and I could only look and feel, nothing else was happening but her voice echoing all over my body:

**_"Fill my heart with song_ **

**_Let me sing for ever more_ **

**_You are all I long for_ **

**_All I worship and adore_ **

**_In other words, please, be true_ **

**_In other words, I love you"_ **

When I heard the last words of this verse of the song, my heart stopped, had she really said that she loved me? I had really listened, right? Yes, I knew it, and the small smile on the corner of Claire's mouth confirmed me, at the same time my heart beat again, fired and uncontrollable. My tense lips opened in an immeasurable smile and I just focused on hearing the rest of the words that came sweetly from her mouth:

**_"When you press me to your heart_ **

**_I'm in a world apart_ **

**_A world where roses bloom_ **

**_And when you speak...angels sing from above_ **

**_Everyday words seems...to turn into love songs_ **

**_Give your heart and soul to me_ **

**_And life will always be_ **

**_La vie en rose_ **

****

**_"Fill my heart with song_ **

**_Let me sing for ever more_ **

**_You are all I long for_ **

**_All I worship and adore_ **

**_In other words, please, be true_ **

**_In other words_ **

**_In other words_ **

**_I, I love, I love you"_ **

People were giving her a standing ovation, but I couldn't get up from the chair, my body didn't seem to obey my orders and I stood there, with the silliest face in the world, smiling non-stop and applauding with all my strength, I wanted more than anything to hold her tight and say that I loved her too, more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone, but I would have to wait for her to finish singing, I couldn't go up on stage and have her just for me, unfortunately, although my will was strong. While I was stuck in my thoughts, which belonged only to Claire, I felt a light grip on my shoulder, I turned around and felt a bitter taste in my mouth:

\- Geneva... - and there she was with that fake smile on her face. More than quickly I turned to the stage, to Claire, and the eyes that were bright until then, stopped shining.


	10. Chapter 10: I Wanna Dry Those Tears

I was still staring at Claire when I felt a tap on my shoulder again, no Geneva, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you and more than anything, I don't want Claire to think I still care about your presence. But I knew how she could be insistent when she wanted something and I turned to face her, even though I still felt Claire's look on me.

\- What are you doing here? - was the first thing that came out of my mouth, in a sudden and dry way.

\- Hi to you too James! - she spoke with a smile that irritated me, just like when she called me that, she always thought that Jamie was totally out of the question, after all I had such a refined name and could not reduce it in such a way to make it common.

\- You don't usually come to bars like this. - I insisted once again on why she was there, I wanted to finish this conversation right away.

\- I come whenever I need to! I'm here on business and I couldn't avoid coming to your table when I saw you alone, a shame to spend the weekend alone in a bar. - She still spoke with a superiority that angered me more and more, her smile never left her face.

\- I am not alone. - I answered and soon I regretted it, she didn't need to know about Claire.

\- I'm not seeing anyone here ... James, you do not need to feel bad for not having found someone to replace me in your heart, I know how important our relationship was for you, as well as for me, but people are different, I got over it faster and there is nothing wrong with it!

Was she listening to herself? How could she talk such bullshit in just few seconds? I was still trying to understand how I could believe that I loved her!

\- I don't feel bad for anything related to you, the only thing I regret is not seeing before how I don't need you in my life!

\- Don't be so harsh, we had something good and I know you couldn't resist this body of mine, too bad yours got so deformed after the accident, it was so perfect before...

\- Geneva, go do your business and leave me alone! - How could I still feel pain with her harsh words about me? She meant nothing to me anymore, I loved Claire and only her who mattered now.

\- If you insist! But if you need a company for the rest of the night, I'm at the next table, this boring show is over and we can talk better!

The performance! Claire! With this totally inopportune presence of Geneva, I hadn't been able to hear the songs she had prepared. I turned quickly to the stage and saw that she was still singing, but her eyes were closed, no, she never did that, at least not when she knew I was watching. I kept staring at her hoping she would see my despair, I wanted her to know that I didn't give a damn about the annoying woman standing next to me, the woman she didn't know who she was, the woman who insisted on touching me while she was talking, even though she said she felt my body disgusting.

\- Oh, I see you found company in a bar singer... James, I never thought that you away from me would be so bad... - her hand now squeezed my arm and I could only feel the bitter taste in my mouth growing.

\- Geneva, I will not say it again, go to your table and leave me alone, you already did it once and I thank you if you do it again, I don't want to be rude in front of your guests! - She still kept her hand on my arm and with a satisfied smile on her face, she knew she was annoying me. - Leave me alone! - The words came out louder than I predicted and people looked at me frowned, I did not care, I took her hand off my arm and dodged when she tried to kiss me on the cheek before leaving and going to her table and her guests.

I took a deep breath, swallow my shot of whisky and turned my attention back to the stage. Claire had finished the song and was thanking the audience that was watching, but instead of continuing the show, she apologized for not feeling well and said goodbye to everyone saying that she would be better next weekend. I saw that she looked at me before leaving the stage, her gaze was distant, was not with the same brightness as when she was singing the song to me. No, this was not happening, she did not stop singing because of my unpleasant surprise company, no, Claire knew that I loved her, she knew that I would never replace her for another, even more for Geneva! But she didn't know, she didn't know that I loved her, she didn't know who was the woman who was being so insistent on me.

I quickly got up from the table, bumping into people on the way, I didn't care just needed to find her, I needed to explain what had happened and say that I loved her too, that the song she had been singing for me had left me off track, making me feel the luckiest guy in the world! But she wasn't where she always stayed after the show, she wasn't sitting at the bar, she wasn't packing her things and not even putting away her guitar that stayed behind the stage. Where had she gone? As a completely actionless person, I stood next to her guitar, I didn't know what to do but to wait for her to come back for her beloved instrument.

The minutes went by as my despair grew; she had gone home? I took my cell phone; she hadn't seen the message I had sent as well as she hadn't answered my call. No, she would not leave without saying anything, the Claire I knew would not leave without making clear that she was angry with me. But I didn't even know what she was feeling and it terrified me. A few more minutes passed when I felt a cold hand on my arm, I turned around and saw her, my Sassenach:

\- Sassenach! Where were you? I was already worried that you had left and... - I noticed that even though I was with a broad smile when I saw her, she was not reacting in the same way. - Hey...what is it? Claire? - I said putting my hand on her face and running my finger over her chin.

\- Nothing, I was just not feeling very well and went to the bathroom to throw some water on my face.

Indeed, she was not lying, I could still feel some cold drops on her face, but there was something else she was not telling me:

\- Sassenach, remember when you said I was a terrible liar? You are too and I know it's not everything right...what happened?

She just sighed and leaned her face against my hand. I knew she was debating internally if she would tell me or not what had happened.

\- Please, I can't see you like this and not know if I made you look like this! - I said while I was pulling her close to me.

\- While I was in the bathroom, I had the privilege of meeting a person who made a point of saying everything she thought about me, about us...

\- Geneva... - Of course, she was the one Claire had met, at the same time I squeezed my hands on Claire's body, I couldn't lose her.

\- Yes, her! I saw her talking to you before, but I didn't know who she was, I... I was such an idiot, I thought...

\- Claire, I have no relationship with her anymore, you know that! And I don't have the slightest interest!

\- But she doesn't seem to agree with that... and I can say that her arguments made me think...

\- No Claire! Don't do this! Don't play her game, she just doesn't want to see me happy, she doesn't care about anyone but herself, I don't know what she told you, but it's a lie! - My heart was beating so hard that I knew she could feel, how could such a perfect night end this way?

\- She was not wrong, I'm really just a cheap bar singer, with no future and no class for such an educated and rich person like you James!

\- No! - I said it loud and I scared her. - I'm Jamie, the simple and silly guy who fell in love for the first time in life with a wonderful woman and with a voice at the level of her beauty, a woman who could be anything, but who would make me love her unconditionally anyway, being a singer, barista or just her, Claire. Hasn't it become clear that I'm crazy about you? And nothing and nobody will change that! And remember what you told me? You are mine and whoever says otherwise will go to hell! 

She opened a small smile, but a real one. Some tears insisted on falling on her face, but I wiped it with my finger:

\- I love you Claire Beauchamp! - and kissed her.

\- I also love you JamiE Fraser! - In the midst of kissing we just laughed at her emphasis on my name.


	11. Chapter 11: And I Want You to Sing It Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! The story is almost in the end and I can't thank you enough for all the comments and kudos. You have no idea how important you all are to me! ❤❤❤

We were in our own world, enjoying each other's company and embrace when we heard someone coughing quietly and clearly trying to get our attention, but without wanting to interrupt our interaction. I moved away from Claire and saw a thin man, not too tall, wearing an elegant suit, standing near the bar. He had a small smile on his face and when he saw that he had got our attention, he started to approach:

\- Are you Claire Beauchamp? - he asked, even though he already seemed to know the answer, because he was approaching Claire with his hand outstretched.

\- Yes, it's me. - she answered still a little flushed by what we were doing before.

\- Pleasure, I'm Keith Henderson, I work for Jeepster Records, I don't know if you've heard, we're an independent record company in London and what I do is hunt talent through bars and pubs in the region. I received some recommendations to come watch your gig and I was impressed with what I saw today.

I noticed that Claire's eyes were shining, she seemed ecstatic and totally unresponsive to what was being said to her. I couldn't contain the wide smile that was appearing on my face, it was really happening! I knew Claire had an indisputable and immeasurable talent for music, even if she didn't believe in herself, I knew she would make it, I just didn't expect it that night, but why not? She deserved all the recognition and happiness in the world, anytime.

\- I want to make you an invitation, we have a night in a venue here in Edinburgh where all the new talents are performing to be evaluated by the staff of the record company, I had the liberty to schedule you already. You have the choice to go or not, but I can say that this is a unique opportunity and if I were you would not want to waste it. - He finished talking giving a light wink and handing Claire a card, soon I could see that it contained the information about the place and time she should attend.

Without further ado, this Keith said goodbye and left in such a subtle way as he had arrived. Claire stood still holding the card, her face didn't show any emotion, only her eyes that kept shining:

\- Sassenach! I knew you could do it! This night could not end better! - I spoke hugging her tightly, her arms slowly moved, hugging me back.

\- I...I don't know, Jamie, I can't believe it! - she whispered in my ear.

\- But you can believe it, you are one small step closer to signing a contract with a label, and not just any label, it's the label that discovered Snow Patrol, they started like you, in gigs in bars and pubs and look where they are now! Sassenach, I'm sure that one year from now I'll be seeing your face printed in big concert halls, I can't deny that I'll be a little jealous, but more than that, I'll be proud to call you mine!

\- Whoa, let's take it easy. - She laughed, but I realized it was a nervous one. - Let's not rush, this presentation doesn't mean I'll get a contract that easy, they'll probably see thousands of singers and I don't even know if I'm that innovative or good...

\- Claire! - I said seriously detaching myself from her so I could look her in the eye. - You're good, if you weren't you wouldn't receive this invitation, I've said this before and it's not only because I'm in love with you, before I saw you, your voice won me in a way that I can't explain and I know that everyone will feel the same when they listen to you. I know you heard from a person that you thought you loved, that you were not good enough, that you had no talent, but it's a lie, he just didn't want you to dominate the world with your talent and let him behind, in fact I think he was afraid that you would realize that he was an asshole and nothing compared to you, I'm glad that you found this out before, but none of this matters anymore, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, you'll kick ass in this presentation and you'll leave there with a contract in hand, listen to what I'm saying. And as I said before, you will make me the proudest boyfriend in the world!

I saw her blinking relentlessly to avoid the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. I just hugged her again, wanting to make sure everything was ok and she deserved everything that was happening in her life:

\- Have I told you that I love you? - Her voice was muffled, because her face was hidden in my chest. - And I don't remember receiving a relationship request...

I laughed and kissed her hair:

\- Sassenach, I think we ran over some steps in this relationship, right? But anyway, do you accept to be my girlfriend? Even after you professed your love to me, you never know, you may have regretted it in the last few minutes.

\- Um... - she looked at me with a satisfied smile. - I think I'll do an act of kindness and accept your request; I know how lost you would be without me in your quiet life...

\- I'm perplexed with so much charity... - We laughed and I kissed her again, I never seemed to be satisfied with her mouth on mine. - Now we're leaving because you have a lot to rehearse for this presentation!

\- I had other things in mind... - she said by gently running her fingers over my chest. - But if you insist, I will go to my house to rehearse and you to your house to sleep! - and walked out in front of me, of course, she made a point of wiggling and accentuating one of the parts of her body that drove me crazy the most.

\- Sassenach! - I shouted. - Come to think of it, you can rehearse tomorrow, or the day after... - I reached her and pulled her around my waist, her laughter just echoed along the way.

And of course the rehearsals for the presentation only started when we were forced to leave the bed because of work. I had to go back to the distillery office and she needed to go to the cafeteria. The week went by fast, every day I picked Claire up at work after my shift and we went to my house and well, let's say we enjoyed each other's company.

\- When will I know the music you will play? The performance is tomorrow and I couldn't listen to anything you were rehearsing! - I said while putting a lock of her hair behind her ear.

\- Is it because I didn't want you to know? - she smiled and kissed me quickly. We were lying in bed just enjoying each other's company. - Jamie, you know I don't like you to see my rehearsals, but don't worry, I'm following your rehearsal schedule perfectly, okay? - she spoke mockingly. 

I had created a schedule for her, Claire was not a very organized person and this made me crazy, I couldn't understand how she could find herself in the middle of her mess, but after we discussed it a lot, she had accepted my help. She had accepted my help just so she wouldn't listen anymore, clearly, she wasn't doing anything I had planned:

\- Are you making fun of my organization? - I asked, pretending to be offended, she just agreed with her head and laughed right away. - I guess you'll have to get a punishment for that.

\- And may I know what you have in mind? - no, she wasn't doing it, challenging me with a naughty smile on her face.

And there went more hours spent in the room, and I can say that even going out of my schedule, they were hours very well spent, that I could say. The next day I saw that Claire had woken up before me, this never happened and I was worried:

\- Sassenach? - I called her and just saw her jumping in the kitchen.

\- Jamie! You scared me! Did you have to scream like that?

\- But I didn't scream! I was just worried; you never wake up before me... - I talked to her and pulled her around my waist.

\- Don't worry, today was a one-time thing, I only woke up early because I had an idea for a song... - she spoke trying to sketch a smile, but I knew she had something more than just a sudden inspiration.

\- Claire, is everything really ok? You know it's normal to get nervous before such an important presentation.

\- I'm not nervous! - she said in a high-pitched tone of voice, almost screaming. - But now I need to go home, a lot of things to do, I need to fix my guitar, my clothes, you know, important details... - and speaking fast, she was getting rid of me.

\- But it's not even nine in the morning! I'm sure you can do all that after we have lunch together... - I talked trying to pull it close to me again.

\- No, no, I have to go now! I'm sure you'll survive without my company until tonight! - And with a quick kiss, she walked fast to the bedroom.

I stood looking at everything that was happening in front of me, Claire was walking from one side to the other frantically picking up her things scattered around the house, I couldn't understand why she needed all, but I didn't say anything, she must have just been nervous because of the presentation, I didn't want to pressure her even more with questions and cause a useless discussion because of it. We said goodbye quickly and I agreed to pick her up an hour before the presentation, I didn't want to risk being late.

I spent the rest of the day finishing some work and watching TV. Jenny and Ian were coming to watch Claire's presentation, they wanted to meet her since they found out we were together and after several incessant questions from my sister, I ended up letting slip about the presentation and she invited herself at the same time, I knew I couldn't escape a determined Jenny Fraser Murray, when she stuck something in her head, nobody could make her change her mind. I ended up not telling Claire, I didn't want to put more pressure than she was already feeling.

I was surprised when I sent some messages to Claire and received only emojis as a reply, she didn't used to do that, on the contrary, she fought with me when I answered in this way. Stay calm Jamie, she was just nervous, soon everything will pass and return to normal. I got dressed calmly and just before the time set, I was already at her apartment door. I knocked once and nothing. Ok, she must still be getting ready and probably listening to music. I knocked again harder and waited, nothing. I put my ear at the door and couldn't hear any noise coming from inside. At the same time, I got my phone and called her, to my despair, I didn't hear the ring coming from inside the apartment and worse, she didn't answer and soon went to voicemail.

I took a deep breath and tried to understand what was happening, but nothing made sense, where was she? Had she gone alone to the place of the presentation? And forgot to tell me? Was she so nervous that she couldn't face me? Before I could think of any more unanswered questions, I felt my phone vibrate, it was a message from her and my body froze when I read it:

_"I'm sorry Jamie, I can't do this... I'm sorry to let you down."_


	12. Chapter 12: Just The Way You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter of this beautiful story! I know, it was short, but I just wanted to show a different way to tell a love story through music. I hope you like it! And thank you so much for your support!!! Soon I'll post a new one! (I have some projects on the way) ❤❤❤❤

I read and reread the message several times to believe it was true, she was giving up her dream? Was she giving up on us too? No, I wouldn't let it happen, she was more talented than she imagined, she was braver than she imagined and I loved her more than she imagined too to abandon her and I wouldn't let her miss an opportunity like this, I knew it would be difficult to appear again, even with the talent I knew she had.

I took my cell phone and ran by the numbers in the agenda. I called my sister, they were already going to the presentation venue:

\- Jenny, I need a favor from you, but I don't have time to explain why, I need you to use all your talent for the oratory and fool the guy who takes care of the presentations, present our whisky, talk about Claire's talent and how she is anxious to perform, do anything, but please, don't let him start the presentations on time, I need extra time!

I heard her start a question, but soon Ian cut her off:

\- How long does Jamie need?

\- I think 15 minutes will help, but the more the better! - I knew they were on speakerphone, they were probably in the car on the way to the venue.

\- Consider it done! - and with that the connection was terminated.

Now I needed to think, where Claire would be hiding, yes, she was hiding from me, it was clear she didn't want to be found. I took the car key and ran, I didn't have time to stand still thinking, I went first to the most obvious place, she wasn't there and I already knew, but I couldn't think clearly. Ok, the Pub is out; she could be at the café where she worked, but there it closed early, no, another place. Christ Claire, where did you go? What place would you choose to have peace? A place that would leave her at ease ... and in a snap, came to my mind, I already knew where she was and speeded the car, it was on the other side of town, of course, she would not make my life easier!

Fifteen minutes and many curses later, I arrived at my destination. University of Edinburgh. Ok, now I needed to find the music room, the room Claire spent most of her time while studying here, the place where she felt comfortable, where people didn't judge her and where she knew I wouldn't find her. She just didn't count on my perception for details, I noticed the sparkle in her eyes when she told me about her rehearsals, how she felt while practicing.

Luckily there was a security guard on duty at the main entrance and I didn't waste time asking where the room I was looking for was, he gave me the information and I ran out. I was grateful at that time for having long legs and a good physique, I got where I wanted quickly and soon saw her curly hair through the small window in the room. She was sitting on one of the chairs and strumming a guitar, it did not make any sound, she seemed to be just thinking about life. As much as I was in a hurry, I didn't open the door quickly, I didn't want to scare her, on the contrary, I would have the difficult mission to convince her to go and do something she didn't think she was capable of.

\- Did you know that you look beautiful like this, thinking, with a guitar and your hair thrown over your face? - I spoke as quietly as I could, but that didn't avoid her fright when she saw and heard me.

\- Jamie! What are you doing here? - She spoke with her eyes wide open, she was really not counting on my presence there.

\- I came to get you, wasn't that what we agreed? But I can say I didn't count on this detour on the way, now we'll have to run to get there on time! - she kept looking at me, she was confused and seemed to be looking for words to answer me, but without success. - Shall we? The good thing is that you already have the guitar in your hand, you'll save some time with this! - And I stretched my hand in her direction.

\- No Jamie, you didn't receive my message?

\- I did, I just decided to ignore it...

\- I can't, I know I let you down, you probably won't want to be by my side anymore, you won't want a relationship with a coward, but I can't, I can't...

\- Claire! - she ended up jumping to the sound of her name, which ended up coming out louder than I wanted. - Look at me. - I tried to speak in a more affectionate way, raising her chin in my direction. I knelt in front of her. - You can't understand that I love you? That nothing you have done or will do will disappoint me? And never think, not for a second, that I would abandon you, not now, not in any other situation. I have already told you that we are in this together and I am here because I believe in you, I know the talent you have and the ability to face challenges...Claire, you have faced so many situations in your life much more difficult than this presentation, it's normal to be nervous, we all are when we are put to the test, but we have to face our fears and count on the help of those who love us and support us. And you know that you will have in the audience today several people who love you and will continue to support you even if nothing works, but you won't know the result if you don't try, won't you? I don't want you to regret one day that you didn't go there today and tried, I don't want you to spend your time imagining if you had gone, if you had succeeded...

Her eyes were wet, but she struggled not to shed her tears. A small smile appeared in the corner of her mouth:

\- How can you be so good with words? You always seem to know what I need to hear, even I didn't know I needed it...I can't believe I love so much a person I met so recently. But I can't go, we don't have any more time and I'm not even with my guitar...

\- We still have time and you're holding a guitar, everything is fine! - I said it pulling her arm. - Let's go!

\- Jamie, I can't take this guitar, it's from the university, I...

\- Sassenach, they won't even notice, we'll return it tomorrow, and it's for a good cause, aye?

And without giving her time to argue anymore, I pulled her by the arm, practically dragging her with me. We needed to run, Jenny was good at talking and fooling people, but everything had a limit and was probably already annoying everyone there, I was sure of that when I saw several messages from Ian on my cell phone. We were like two crazy people running around campus, me practically carrying Claire and the guitar on my back and her laughing nervously. We soon arrived in my car and I'm sure I broke some traffic laws to get to the venue quickly, but at least I got there in less than ten minutes.

We entered the concert hall and soon saw Jenny and Ian near the stage, where there was a table with a man who seemed a little angry with the presence of the two there. Without wasting more time, I pushed Claire who seemed to hide behind me and talked:

\- Claire Beauchamp arrived! I apologize for the delay, we had a problem with the instrument, but everything was solved! She is ready for the presentation.

The man didn't seem to mind my apologies, he just handed Claire a green bracelet and told her to go behind the stage to get ready. Jenny and Ian introduced themselves quickly to Claire and wished her good luck, I approached her, hugging her tight:

\- I know you can do it, Sassenach! Go there and show them who Claire Beauchamp is! - I whispered in her ear.

She just laughed and kissed me fast. I knew I couldn't hold her anymore, now I had nothing more I could do, nothing more I could help, I had to trust her and this was easy to do when I saw the brightness in her whisky colored eyes. I went to sit next to Jenny and Ian, they had reserved a seat very close to the stage, the way they knew I liked to stay to see Claire sing.

The performances soon started and I couldn't contain my nervousness, everyone was really good, each one in their own style, but very good. I was restless in the chair, my hands were cold and I couldn't concentrate on the songs that were being played:

\- Calm down, brother. - I felt Jenny's hand squeeze mine. - If you keep this up, they will kick you out and you won't be able to see Claire sing...and you know that won't help her one bit.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I wasn't very successful in this mission, but at least I managed to stop bothering the people around me. Time seemed not to pass, the songs seemed longer than usual and I could only think about how Claire must have been feeling, if I was nervous, imagine her! Without even realizing it, her name was announced. I saw her enter the stage with firm steps, she seemed confident. She sat on the small bench they put in the center of the stage, the lights were strong and I could see in her eyes the despair when she saw the size of the audience. She had never played for so many people, and never with so much light and focus on herself.

One minute passed and everyone was waiting for the beginning of her performance, but it didn't happen, she didn't move her fingers that seemed to be stuck to the guitar strings. I started to get desperate, she had to play, they wouldn't wait anymore, the audience was starting to get impatient and little booing was happening. That's when something came to my mind and I jumped out of the chair:

\- The light! Turn off the stage light! - I shouted.

Everyone looked at me confused, I looked crazy, but I saw a relief in Claire's eyes. I screamed again and finally they did what I asked, soon the stage got as she was used to, just a half-light focused on her face, she could not see the whole audience and her eyes shone as they concentrated on her guitar. That's when the first notes of the song started to echo through the place and soon her soft voice made everyone stay quiet and pay attention:

**Oh her eyes, her eyes**

**Make the stars look like they're not shining**

**Her hair, her hair**

**Falls perfectly without her trying**

**She's so beautiful**

**And I tell her every day**

**Yeah I know, I know**

**When I compliment her**

**She won't believe me**

**And it's so, it's so**

**Sad to think that she don't see what I see**

**But every time she asks me do I look okay**

**I say**

**When I see your face**

**There's not a thing that I would change**

**'Cause you're amazing**

**Just the way you are**

**And when you smile**

**The whole world stops and stares for a while**

**'Cause girl you're amazing**

**Just the way you are**

**Her lips, her lips**

**I could kiss them all day if she'd let me**

**Her laugh, her laugh**

**She hates but I think it's so sexy**

**She's so beautiful**

**And I tell her every day**

**Oh you know, you know, you know**

**I'd never ask you to change**

**If perfect is what you're searching for**

**Then just stay the same**

**So don't even bother asking**

**If you look okay**

**You know I'll say**

**When I see your face**

**There's not a thing that I would change**

**'Cause you're amazing**

**Just the way you are**

**And when you smile**

**The whole world stops and stares for a while**

**'Cause girl you're amazing**

**Just the way you are**

[ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Y272aO4WU** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Y272aO4WU)

There was no other song she could have sung, this one was perfect, it was her song, made for her, the lyrics were everything I had tried to prove and show her in our little time together. And by the way she had finally understood, she really was perfect exactly as she was, I wouldn't change anything and I loved her for that, by her incredible way, by her laughter when she got nervous, by her eyes that could reveal all her emotions, even when she wanted to hide them, finally, I loved her like Claire Beauchamp and nothing else.

Her presentation was very acclaimed, just like the others, so I really didn't know how she had done with the representatives of the record company, but for me she had been perfect and it was enough, she had overcome her fear, her insecurities and given the best of herself, so I was already proud, if it still resulted in a contract, I would be even prouder.

A month ago I just wanted to get rid of my sister's boring insistence to leave home, a month ago I just wanted to feel whole again, to feel worthy to love and be loved, and Claire's sweet voice made everything come back to life, made all the loose pieces of my life fit together, made me realize that I didn't know what love was until I faced her whisky-colored eyes over me, made me love myself the way I was, with all my flaws and insecurities, made me love her with so much will and devotion to show that she was worthy of the same things I was, in short, she answered the question I asked mentally the first time I saw her in someone else's arms: "Can I Be Him? "and I couldn't be more victorious with the answer.


End file.
